


The Kid(s) is not Ok

by LadyRWidow



Series: Windwalker AU [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, General suffering I dunno what you want me to say, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Anguish, Other, Soulmates, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Windwalker AU, seemingly innocent moments that are not so innocent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRWidow/pseuds/LadyRWidow
Summary: Aang's induction into windwalker culture is far from over and he still has a lot to learn. The group is preparing to travel from the Earth Kingdom to the Fire Nation and we meet another sect of windwalkers.Chapter 1: A trip into the market and a (mostly) candid conversation about soulmates.Chapter 2: Aang meets another windwalker sect and is in for a surprise
Relationships: Aang & Original Characters
Series: Windwalker AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748830
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 3 will be posted tomorrow or Saturday :)
> 
> And a big big thank you to @Bumblerbee who beta-ed for this fic :)))))))

The market was _loud_ and Aang was absolutely loving it. A’ma was away for a few hours discussing their travel route with the other adults while Aang was allowed to roam the small shops in the town nearby. He knew that there were two guards lingering a ways back making sure nothing happened to them, but he barely noticed them half of the time. 

“Yun-Ji, look! I think that’s a platypus-bear!” 

He gave himself a speed boost to reach one of the stalls with small glass sculptures. The coloring on the animals easily popped out even with all of the banners proudly displaying water, fire, and earth coloring. There was even an air vendor if you knew where to look.

Aang raised the trinket to the girl’s face and she looked thoroughly unimpressed, turning her nose up at it. Of course, she was then immediately enraptured by a green and gold spotted dragon caught in mid-flight. “Forget that thing! Dragons and phoenixes are all the rage.” 

The boy pouted. “Dragons are scary… what about the badgermole?” He presented a comparatively larger badgermole, a large smile springing back into place. 

Her eyes narrowed down at it before looking back to the other toys. They had enough money to buy one and _only_ one. 

“...how about the fox,” she finally countered, putting down the dragon with disappointment and picking up a plainly colored animal with a mostly disinterested gaze.

Aang’s eyebrows came together, not liking the dark murky shade the threads connecting them began to bleed. If the older air bender didn’t stop projecting, guards would be dragging them back to the group _real_ quick.

Well, he supposed he could get something for himself another time.

With a warm smile, he turned to the merchant. “We’ll take the dragon.” 

The elderly man behind the counter gave them a polite smile that looked to be stretched far too thin. He quickly took the coins offered and backed away, feigning attention to some of his products in the back.

“I swear, next time, we’ll get something for you.” Yun-Ji looked impassioned, radiating enough _sunshine-raindew_ to settle the presence(s) that had been subtly checking on them when her emotions had turned dark. “I’ll get you the biggest platypus-bear I can find!”

Aang laughed and shook his head. He didn’t need his friend to owe him something. He was just happy that she was happy ( _she didn’t have to blatantly manipulate him for something she really wanted but, oh well_ ). The glass sculpture wasn’t actually that bad it just - 

_Reminded him of something he couldn’t have_. 

\--x--

They were settling in for the night because apparently the sun was too low for comfort and the next travel spot was more than two days travel. A group of caretakers and children were working on weaving bracelets in preparation. 

Aang had chosen a mixture of red and gold thread, unable to get the combination out of his mind. 

“Everyone knows that dragons are a symbol of the fire nation’s royal family.” 

A’ma paused in her own sewing of what looked like a robe. She looked to him in a mixture of caution and understanding.

“...have you been seeing dragons?” 

Aang burrowed deeper into his knees, pausing his weaving. “...maybe.” The flames of one of the nearest fire pits flickered brightly before settling. 

“And what are they telling you?” 

_Hands holding him down, pain in his back as needles pierced deep in his skin -_

“...I saw golden eyes. There was a lot of fire.” 

_The blue and red dragons circled him endlessly, the blue bright and fierce -_ **_angry so so angry_ ** _\- while the red was steady, gentle even, but so very_ weak _._

“Fire nation citizens are known to have golden eyes on occasion. It marks them as the lineage of the first fire benders.”

Aang glanced over at her before looking away, dismay written in his narrowed eyes. “...I’ve met fire benders with golden eyes and it’s not the same. Their eyes were pale gold, pure gold like the actual metal. I’d never seen anything like it.” 

A’ma didn’t say anything for a moment. “If your bondmate is fire nation royalty… it will be many years before you will be able to claim them as your own.” 

Many years before he would be good enough for them, is what Aang interpreted. Aang understood that, he really did, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t resent it. 

_She meant something else, but he was too innocent and naive to realize exactly what at the time_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aang meets another windwalker sect and is in for a surprise.

The bison were finally being packed and Aang watched with rapt interest at the animals he hadn’t seen in months. This was the second windwalker sect he had come into contact with and they were… different. And had bison! He had come to the depressing conclusion that they _walked_ everywhere. 

They seemed to wear clothing that was more similar to earth kingdom style than anything Aang had ever seen an air bender wear. It may have been the pants that were tightly fitted at the ankles and loose around the thighs and remaining fairly uniform and straight going up. The coloring was still distinctly air, but there was something - 

“It’s the tunic.” 

Aang screamed, jumping up into the air to land far away from the source of the voice. Looking back, he blanched at the figure that had interrupted him. 

The first thing that Aang noticed was the full head of simply braided hair, easily covering up the blue-almost-purple arrow that peeked out from behind her light brown bangs. Her eyes were a warm blue and her clothing was… surprisingly green. 

“Typical earth clothing is boxier with similar shoulder-waist ratios compared to fire that’s more triangular on the torso. Not to mention there’s an emphasis on the trim waist in fire nation fashion which is why there's not a lot of fabric used on the sash, if you’ve noticed with higher fashion.” She emphasized by pointing to the thick sash around her own waist. 

“You’re Sangmu’s apprentice, aren’t you? It’ll help you to start learning all of this now before she starts really hammering down on you.” 

Aang blinked up to her, before the name of his A’ma suddenly registered in his head. He practically lit up like a light bulb, straightening right up.

“You know A’ma?!” Aang excitedly jumped over to her, shyness dissipating in the face of a potential friend.

The woman laughed, raspy and deep, taking on a more relaxed stance (but she was still tense, they were always tense). 

“Me and Sangmu go waaaay back. We grew up in the same sect until she met her bondmate and left with them.” She said this nonchalantly despite how Aang tensed up at the mention of the b-word. 

“Ah, is it ok to talk about that?” He’d come to the conclusion that it was safe for himself and everyone around _not_ to bring up that subject. 

“It’s ok for _me_ to talk about it because I only see her once a year during the Moon Festival.” She glanced towards where everyone else was, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “That, and I can beat your Ge A’ma’s butt five ways to the moon and back and you can tell her I told you that.” 

Aang couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll make sure to tell her. I’m Aang by the way! It’s an honor to meet you,” he finally introduced himself, respectfully stepping back and bowing to the elder who looked on approvingly. 

“Kelsang,” she said, returning a bow that was much looser and more informal than his own.

She eyed him or, more specifically, his outfit and scoffed. “They’re still making the youngins wear that full covered outfit at this time of year? You’re going into the outer fire islands and that’s going to get uncomfortable real quick.” 

Aang threw his hands up, feeling vindicated in his long and difficult battle regarding clothing with the group. “I know! I keep telling A’ma, but she keeps saying that we’ll get new clothes when we get there.” 

Kelsang paused for a moment, tilting her head. Her eyes seemed to soften as some sort of understanding crossed them.

“Oh! So you’re still fairly new to us. No wonder you don’t have a full set of clothes yet.” Looking further down, her eyes widened in evident glee. She reached over to grab one of his wrists. “Not even a year in and you already have your first set of mastery tattoos, that’s impressive.” 

“Thanks!” Aang smiled, flexing his hand unbothered by the handling. The newly inked arrow tattoos peaked from the only bit of exposed skin on his hand. They still stung slightly under the thick cloth, but it made him so proud to have a physical marker of his progress. He had trouble starting out, true, but time had proven him to be more than adaptable. 

_He still couldn’t slice all the way through the rock, getting halfway through before his bending faltered, but he was getting better!_

Yun-Ji, who was still multiple sets ahead of him, didn’t seem to take a similar glee in his advancement, staring at him in a way that felt vaguely predatory. 

“Your Sangmu may be working on getting the proper fabric from the summer. The trade routes around the earth kingdom aren’t very… abundant in the necessary thread.” She released his hand and waved to a group-mate, saying something so fast that Aang had trouble parsing out the words.

“This will be goodbye until the winter solstice. You’ll need a bison to make the trek to the air nation settlements.” 

Aang’s face twisted in confusion. As far as he knew, the windwalkers never went to the air nomad temples. Their invite to the southern temple was purely to discuss his “fostering” with them. 

“We go to the air nomad settlements?” 

For a moment Kelsang looked at him blankly, as if she thought he would say ‘just kidding’ or take it back. The woman’s eyes seemed to glow with a hardened mischief and Aang swore that this was _not_ the woman he was just talking to. 

_Maybe it was the way she had straightened into a guard’s stance, or the way her gray eyes had turned to fluid mercury, but he refused to believe he was talking to the same person who had laughed with her whole body and smiled down at him with nothing but kindness._

Aang coughed, tensing before trying to play it off. “I mean, yeah of course! The air nomad settlements. Yeah… that. Looking forward to it!” 

Aang was a horrible liar and she saw through it in a split second.

“You have not been… told about our traditions?” 

“A’ma is still working her way through the stories,” Aang hastily replied, wanting to change the subject despite a larger part of him wanting to ask her what she meant.

The rumors and stories the air nomads had told them about the windwalkers had all been proven false, so there was no way that one was worth any merit… right? 

_He couldn’t think about that, wouldn’t couldn’t it was monstrous they wouldn’t do that-_

She pressed her lips together for a moment, looking somewhat pensive before opening her mouth and - 

“Kelsang!” 

Aang jumped and turned around, relaxing at the sight of his A’ma before tensing right back up again. 

She looked _mad._

_Please don’t hurt me I’m sorry I won’t do it again, I won’t think again, I won’t feel -_

Echoes of his-not his emotions ran through him as she marched up to them.

“Your traditions and education are _not_ our own. He will learn when he is ready,” she said, terse and short. Her hands came up to drag him back until his back was pressed against her and Aang felt like a lamb about to be devoured _whole -_

Kelsang’s face… _changed_ . Gone was the easy companionship, replaced with someone more fitting of those blades strapped to her waist (and how had he missed those swords, why was he so _blind_ ). She stared evenly at A’ma with clear derision - a haughty look that almost rivaled Yun-Ji when she got in a fit - and Aang wanted to understand how accurately the term _friends_ defined the two of them.

“They were once your traditions as well, Sangmu.” There was a small bit of restraint in the other windwalker that dissolved easily with the next jab. “But I suppose you were never very good with listening to your elders, or listening to anyone really.” 

Aang held still despite (or maybe because of) how deeply A’ma dug into his shoulder. He knew better than to bring attention to himself when she was like this. Everyone alway tip-toed around the Ge Am’a in the camp, but what he thought would be a new friend - Am’as’ old friend - was outright _challenging_ her. 

Kelsang looked back down at Aang and gave him an almost playful open mouthed smile, displaying teeth, and suddenly Aang noticed that they were subtly sharp and by the spirits - 

_\- they were filed into very pointed fangs._

That… hadn’t been a lie.

Despite the insults, A’ma remained firm instead of _ripping her eyes out_ like Aang could feel her wanting to do over the thick threads that bound them. 

_He imagined himself reaching out with his smaller-thinner-larger-thicker hands and pressing and pressing until he heard a pop -_

“You will do well to remember the consequences of your actions, _huì_.”

If looks could kill, A’ma would have been dead ten times over for the insult. Kelsang had taken a step forward only to pause. Her eyes flickered in confusion before settling into annoyed disdain. 

“So young and innocent-” she cooed. - “but for how long?” 

She gave A’ma an almost smug smirk still laced with a look of someone who had clearly lost this battle and was trying to compensate. When she bowed the second time, it was just as informal and relaxed as the first and Aang knew that she wasn’t bowing to A’ma. 

She didn’t so much as glance back at him.

Aang remained still even after she hopped up onto a bison with another group and took off. He would have stood there in silence far after the other woman had left, but A’ma was not willing to wait that long. She turned him around, her hands still tense yet gentle. 

_His skin hurt where she had dug into his shoulders and he hoped that he wasn’t bleeding._

“Never talk to a member of another group without my presence or another one of us at your side. You have no idea the kind of danger you were in.”

Aang couldn’t help but protest. “But they’re one of _us_ aren’t they? Windwalkers? Like you?” 

A’ma’s severe gaze relaxed before she pulled him into an embrace. Aang realized then that she was _shaking_. 

“A-A'ma?” He reached up to hug her, becoming much more worried when he realized that she, the one that everyone was afraid of, was _afraid_. 

“This sect is your community, your family. Remember that. Promise me you will remember that.” She pulled him away to press her hands to his cheeks, cupping the back of his head easily in her hands.

“I promise.” He gave it freely, barely thinking about it. Community, he understood. _Family_ was a bit harder to grasp. 

“Repeat after me: we protect our family.” 

He replied easily, hoping that it would make her feel better. 

“People outside of our family are dangerous.” 

Again, Aang repeated after her but with more hesitation (nomads were supposed to travel the world, interact with people, and make friends… weren’t they?). 

“They will hurt me.” 

Aang repeated, with little conviction, so she made him say it again. “ _They will hurt me._ ” 

She seemed satisfied with the second try and released him, looking to the empty spot the bison had taken off before surveying the area with narrowed eyes. A’ma looked incredibly displeased but visibly forced herself back under a mask of neutrality.

“Little one, if you have any questions, you can ask me.” If Aang didn’t know better, Sangmu sounded almost hurt, expression and emotion still leaking in cracks that would have been tiny had Aang not known what their absence felt like.

Aang went quiet, looking to the side and seeing - _no lies don’t look he’s not there_ \- before turning back to A’ma with the gaze of someone who was _tired_. 

“What do we do near the air nomad temples?” 

There was no hesitation in her answer, not even a twinge of doubt or fear in her gaze. “It’s a part of our trade route, Aang. There are many villages that inhabit those islands despite not being air benders themselves. Oftentimes, we’ll find our life bonds among the people so we get new blood. It’s nothing to worry yourself over.” 

Aang wanted to believe that, desperately needed to believe that; but, the way he remembered Kelsang’s blank expression and almost hollowed voice, asking him if he’d been _“told about our traditions”_ stuck to him. 

“It’s ok,” he said, despite himself and the pit weighing heavy in his stomach. “As long as you tell me sometime later, it’s ok if you don’t want to tell me now.” 

A’ma frowned down at him, not seeming to know quite what to do with that answer (as if being told _it was ok_ was foreign to her). 

_It wasn’t ok._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aang you silly goose you don't go around talking to strangers.
> 
> (Even though that's literally his entire shtick... :/ You are literally a child, show some caution for once in your life)
> 
> Kelsang: Oooo Free Baby :D  
> Sangmu: I think the fuck not  
> Kelsang >:(


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... forgot... to post the third chapter :/

"...clouds are building in the east, if we don't make it by nightfall we may get caught in the storm." 

"Worst case scenario, we'll go west until it passes."

"Of all the days to travel by bison, it had to be _today_..."

Aang had missed the feeling of wind swirling around him, something he had associated with gliders and air bison. It was one of the things that had hurt the most when joining the sect. The trip was a welcome change to their normal routine and the pleasant, though somewhat depressing, chatter around him put Aang at ease. It gave him a lot of time to think as he leaned against the side of the saddle, staring blankly into the distance.

“Will you… at least talk to me about my soulmate?”

He heard the methodical shifting of woven yarn and wood needles pause for a moment before continuing, almost as if she had not heard him. In contrast, the conversation between the other women had stopped completely. Aang glanced over to see Yun-Ji pointedly looking down at the carving she had been whittling away at, dark side bangs hiding her expression. 

Turning to face A’ma, he noticed the woman seemed mostly unaffected by the question. Not even a slight tremor in her hands. 

“What is there to tell? You will meet them when you are ready.” 

Aang shifted to face her. “You keep saying that, but what about when I  _ do  _ meet them? What happens if they hate me, what happens if the bond makes them think they like me even though they _hate_ me, what if - “ 

A gust of wind cut off his word. He sputtered as his breath caught in his throat and he coughed for a good minute from literally choking on his words. 

“Stop that. It’s no good going down that rabbit hole,” she stated, calm and vaguely amused as Aang came down from his fit. 

Aang pouted at her before turning away to look back out to the disappearing Earth Kingdom mainland. If she was going to be like that - 

“I don't talk about it because there is nothing to talk about." When Aang didn't reply, he heard the almost disappointed-mostly indulgent sigh that Aang had learned to not take too seriously. "There really _is_ nothing much to talk about. The bond helps us connect, to understand each other, but it doesn't make them love you. Nothing can do that. Your soulmate will love you for who you are. Nothing more, nothing less.” 

Aang finally looked back over to her, eyes visibly gleaming with hope. The reassurance was easily enough to lighten the dark cloud that had been hanging over him since the earlier day’s encounter. “Really? You think so?” 

“I know so.” 

Aang smiled even wider, crawling over to A’ma’s side. Carefully minding her beaded braids, he tucked himself into her side. Despite the sharpness of every literal breath, she was always welcoming to any physical contact he was willing to offer.

“I do have to warn you, no one claimed bonding was easy. It takes hard work, patience,” she said, putting down her halfway knitted piece to shift him closer into her side. “But once the bond is complete, it will be as if your entire world has become brighter, your heart lighter, and your breath easier.” 

Aang softened into her embrace and imagined it, imagined having someone to always hold his hand and be by his side no matter where he went (and he would be going a lot of somewheres, pulled from place to place by his duty to the world). 

He saw his best friend. 

_ And he wondered why they were always so angry. They were so so angry… and so sad. _

“They will be… your entire  _ world _ .”

Aang’s smile dimmed somewhat at the strange look on A’ma’s face. 

Despite her perfectly impassive expression, Aang saw the slight shimmer in her eyes and how they seemed to see absolutely nothing. Her breath caught and her free hand came up, initially reaching to her chest before stopping. “You’ll love them so dearly… and it will hurt the most when you realize they are gone.”

Aang’s face twisted in realization, dread making his heart go cold in his chest. He tucked himself closer into her, trying to offer some comfort and peace, but the torn and badly healed part of her was sharp and twisting, resistant to the most well meaning affections. 

Because A’ma was always in pain. Not a day went by that she could simply  _ breathe  _ her element without being reminded of her loss. Aang in all his short life had never felt as much hurt and heartbreak as did the Ge A’ma in their daily lives. 

Aang had no advice to give. What could he say? That he was sorry? 

_ Some part of him knew that a thousand sorries never made up for the pain of knowing you would never see the one you loved grow old -  _

“Be careful, young one. You have lived many lives and will live many more, but the pain of losing your fated one will haunt you and the many after you.” 

_ Be careful. _

Tucked against Sangmu’s side, he was suddenly aware of how she could be a mirror of  _ himself _ . It chilled him to realize how he could easily become Yun-Ji’s Ge A’ma who was so passive and unfeeling that he felt nothing but large defensive glaciers when he brushed past her, or Sangmu who felt like sharpened blades grating against the edge of his consciousness. 

He couldn’t become like that,  _ refused  _ to become like that.

If that is one thing that Aang will fight the world on is that  _ Aang will not lose them. _

_ ~~_~~“Not even the almighty Avatar could stand their ground to death.”~~_~~ _

Aang’s head snapped up and frantically looked around for - what? He didn’t recognize the voice, faint and raspy and simply  _ gone _ as if the wind had swept it away.

“Aang?” Yun-Ji was staring at him. Her tone was leaning towards annoyance more than anything and Aang shrunk under the ‘keep your weird to yourself’ look she sent him.

“Sorry. I thought I heard something,” he admitted before settling back down. “Must have been my imagination.” 

Sangmu seemed to easily dismiss it after a short examination, visibly elsewhere. 

Aang ignored the faintly ringing laughter that followed them into the borders of the fire islands. Tried to ignore the faint rumbling of thunder in the distance.

It was fine. He was fine. 

_ Everything was fine and he felt like he was walking on daggers. It was not like he dreamed of A’ma filing down his teeth and forcing him to sink them into her until she was bleeding out on the floor in a consuming puddle of blue and red, blue and red -  _

Despite the horror that filled him, unknown yet known in origin, he relaxed. He breathed in, proud as he did so with minimal resistance.

_ Fire was calling, fire was consuming in red and blue, red and blue. Gold eyes narrowed at him in contempt. _

He was ok. 

_ They were still laughing, they wouldn’t stop laughing _ . 

He was  **ok** . 

_ White bells rang loud, striking despair and grief into the hearts of many and Aang felt like screaming in rage. _

He exhaled, trying to imagine his worries flowing away with it. He just needed to -

_“ - the pain of losing your fated one will haunt you - "_

- breathe…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sangmu: -has a silent breakdown-  
> The Others: *don't be suspicious don't be suspicious*  
> Aang: *hugs The Mom and tries to figure out why he's empathizing*
> 
> I need more Aang showing traits/memories of his past lives and it shows.

**Author's Note:**

> Repression is not a valid coping method kids.  
> And if you haven't figured out Yun-Ji is that person that will eat you out of heart and home and have you thinking it was your idea.
> 
> And I'm gonna leave a hint and see if y'all can figure this out: In this series, Aang starts out with one soulmate and ends with one soulmate, but not the one he started out with. You all know who he ends up with, but who does he start out with?


End file.
